Looking back at yesterday’s posting about my dad, I notice I used absolutes a lot: always, never. He was that kind of person. He knew his mind, knew right from wrong and wasn’t into compromise. I did not have to guess about where Dad stood. As I listen and look at the world I live in, I find words like “middle ground”, “conciliation”, “arbitration”. These sound really open-minded and fair. sometimes far too much so. I don’t see St. Paul preaching much about “middle ground”. Something is either right or it’s wrong. It’s a sin or it isn’t. And then there’s that word “discrimination”. I’ve looked it up in the dictionary. It is defined as the ability to make a judgment, discern between good and bad, right and wrong. Nowadays it has come to mean something else entirely; or at least, that’s the way it seems to me. We need some absolutes today, some solid rocks to hang onto. If something is bad or evil, how can we agree with it? And what is wrong with having a discriminatory taste, being able to discern what is good and what is not?
My mom was one who could see both sides to a situation. She was fair-minded. She had the ability to put herself into another person’s shoes and see things from another viewpoint. She still believed and stood firmly on the truth as she saw it but she could also understand a different view. If one of her children did not always agree or veered off the straight and narrow whether by choice or accident, she could certainly understand why. She was the best friend I ever had and her ability to see the sin but love the sinner was a rare and wonderful attribute.When my childish sense of discernment failed me and my judgment was less than good, she was the arbiter. She made everything all right again.
But you know the most marvelous trait of all the good traits of my parents? It was love. St. Paul said that without it, we don’t amount to a whole lot. (He didn’t say those exact words; that’s my interpretation). And love us, their children and grandchildren, they did. They showed their love in different ways. When we failed, they loved us anyway and expected us to get up and go on. They encouraged us by word and most of all by example to keep on keeping on. Their love was the unchangeable, firm and solid rock we could hang onto. And this child of theirs is eternally grateful.
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