A Wacky Worrier

I have a tendency to worry. I know that worry is interest paid on borrowed trouble. I know that worry is useless and 95% of the things a person worries about never happens. I know that worry is a waste of time. Nevertheless, I worry. Maybe it’s because I want people to behave in an orderly, sane manner. I want peace and harmony. I’d like for everyone to be happy, friendly, open and above-aboard. But they don’t always behave the way I’d like. Peace and harmony is not always the order of the day and sometimes people are unhappy, unfriendly, and down-right sneaky. And then, there are all those “what ifs”. What if this happens or that happens or he or she says or does this or that? What is I say or do the wrong thing? How should I act or react? And I worry.

Do you ever think back to a phrase from a book, a poem, or a song that helps in times of stress? Many years ago, I read a book which I still remember in snatches. It was Understood Betsy  by Dorothy Canfield Fisher. My memory of details now is kind of sketchy but I’ll never forget one segment. Betsy had missed a word in a spelling contest and she was devastated. I believe it was Betsy’s cousin Ann who told Betsy to look up to the mountain near their farm. She said that mountain was always going to be there whether Betsy spelled perfectly or not. That brought things into perspective for the little girl. That is comforting when worries come and things are not as I would like them to be. I guess I could look over at the mountains south of town and remember that they are always going to be there whether people behave as I want them to or not; whether I make a misstep or don’t.

And then, there’s Scripture. I rely a lot on God’s Word. Yesterday, I re-read these verses: “Wait on the Lord; be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart; wait, I say, on the Lord” (Psalm 27:14). And, “Be strong and of a good courage” (Joshua 1:9).

Not only do I worry about things in the present, I worry about things in the past (which is a sad waste of time) and I worry about things that might happen, could happen, but hopefully, maybe if I worry enough, won’t happen. However, what if they do? And, immediately the words of the Lord Jesus come to mind: “Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof,”  (Matthew 6:34).

So, armed with all this common sense and comfort, I try really hard to put worry behind me. The world is imperfect, but then, so am I. Whatever happens, I believe the Lord is with me. And, if the world were indeed perfect, harmonious and things were actually as they seem, where would the writer of mysteries be? Ah, thank goodness for mysteries! In each book I write, I can put words into mouths; the bad guys always get their just desserts; the good guys always win (well, almost always). I can be in charge! That’s probably the best solution for this worrier–write! So, has worry driven me to writing?