Verbal and Other Malfunctions

Ah-h! That first cup of coffee! It’s an eye-opener and a thought sharpener! Maybe I hadn’t had enough coffee the other day when I was in a crowded store and suddenly, there was a disconnect between thoughts and words. I was standing in the way of someone who needed to get around me. “Pardon me,” he said. I was captivated by a pretty wood carving and the words of this young man who politely scooted past must have startled me. Knowing a courteous response was called for, I meant to say, “Pardon me” but  he had already said that so  I decided, “Excuse me” probably would sound better. My response was, “Scarm” which, being translated is a combination of “Excuse me” and “Pardon me”. Realizing I didn’t make sense, I decided quickly that if he had asked what country I was from, I would have immediately started rattling off nonsense syllables so maybe he’d think I was from the far off kingdom of Zarsh–or something.

And then there was the time I went to church wearing a pair of very pretty shoes. The left shoe was quite similar in style to the right shoe. The only difference was one was black and one was navy blue. I didn’t realize the blunder until after lunch and I noticed Dawn was looking at my feet rather strangely. Could wearing shoes of different colors be a sign of a split personality?

Have any of you ladies ever noticed that an eyebrow pencil is quite similar to lip pencil? When a woman is in a hurry and grabs the wrong pencil, who could blame her? Although it glides on smoothly, red doesn’t do much for enhancing eye color. Take my word for it.

A friend of mine wrote a really wonderful piece the other day about living in the moment. That is down to earth advice about being aware of what’s going on and savoring the here and now. That’s very important!  If I really lived in the moment, I would be aware of the color of my shoes when I put them on. I’d know the correct verbal response and never be caught daydreaming about a lovely wood carving. But then, would I be a writer of mysteries? Maybe most writers have a tendency to let our thoughts wander but that’s no excuse for not being able to grab hold of the right word when needed. After all, words are my stock-in-trade.  The only explanation I can find is sometimes I just don’t have enough coffee to jump-start the thinking process, which reminds me. I’d better go pour another steaming hot cup of strong Folgers. I’ve a feeling I will need it!