No, the heavy load isn’t the wonderful rain we had yesterday afternoon. That would lighten most people’s load. The rain was wonderful and the cooler weather is a relief. Now, it’s really seeming like fall.
I’ve been thinking of late about a heavy load called a grudge that some people tote around for years. It’s wearisome. It’s not a bit nice, and even its name sounds bad. Just say it and listen: GRR-uj. Rhymes with sludge or drudge or smudge. Anyway, I thought that was a burden that belonged way back in the dark ages, before people were enlightened about how harmful it is to their health. But no, the miserable old thing is still hanging around in a few places, getting heavier and heavier and uglier too.
The funny thing about carrying a grudge is that it’s like a snowball rolling down hill–it keeps getting bigger. You’d think that people would discard the miserable grudge as soon as they were aware of it and opt to feel a whole lot of relief and freedom. And, some people with the wisdom of Solomon do that. Others, well, they hang onto it, coddle it, add slights either imagined or real until sometimes the grudge becomes a part of that particular person’s character and he or she becomes known as a grudging old drudge. That’s sort of pitiful.
Admittedly, in times past, I have occasionally been guilty of lugging around a whole big, ugly load of resentment and, let me tell you, it isn’t easy to live with. It sort of dims the sunshine and causes feelings of suspicion. When I become aware that I might be tempted to harbor a grudge, I stop, look at it, and realize the one it’s damaging is me. Yes, me! The grudge I’m holding onto doesn’t make the grudgee feel a bit worse, but it’s mighty hard on the grudger. There is a remedy. It doesn’t involve going to the doctor for medication (although it sometimes leads to actual illness) All it takes is for the grudger to forgive the grudgee, tell those burdensome thoughts called a grudge to go away and then, actually replace them with some positive thoughts. Recounting all the good points of the former grudgee helps too. After all, grudgers are not perfect. Who is?
Now, why, on a lovely autumn morning when we’ve had needed rain, the temperature has decided to act like fall, and we have so many blessings we can’t count them, did I actually bring up the ugly subject of grudges? I don’t know. It just came to me out of the blue, or out of the clouds, as the case may be. But, having thought of it, I decided to write about it and so rid myself even of the thought. Does that make sense? Here’s wishing you a happy Wednesday, free of heavy loads, with lots of sunshine in your heart and nary a grudgensome thought in sight. Anywhere.
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