Talking to Someone Who Isn’t There

I saw a cartoon on Facebook something to the effect of authors talking to the characters in their books. Of course we do! I just hope nobody hears me sitting at my computer holding a conversation with an invisible person who speaks with a voice that is inaudible to everyone but me.

Me: Ned, I don’t believe you would go off hunting for an Indian message tree the day after your terrifying nightmare and hearing that dog howling on your well curb.

Ned: I don’t think I would want to. For goodness sake, I’m not superhuman.

Me: I could fix that.

Ned: Don’t you dare! Remember, this is a cozy mystery, not science fiction.

Me: OK, I’ll put you in the fog and someone is following you but you can’t see who it is.

Ned: Is he in a car? Is he walking? Don’t I have my cell phone to call for help?

Me: He’s in a car; you didn’t let me finish. Of course, you have your cell phone but how are you going to call if you are driving?

Ned: I have the Blue Tooth hook-up in my Ford Escape, remember? Or did you decide I need a different car? I like my Ford Escape! I don’t want to leave it!

Me: As a matter of fact, I like it too. No, you can keep it.

Ned: That’s good. You change your mind so often. When you started this book, you had me running from a springtime tornado, then you decided to start my story with me slogging through snow and (unbelievable) now you decide my setting should be fall. You are pretty changeable, you know. Can I trust you?

Me: Of course, Ned. I only do things for your own good, to make your sterling character and wonderful personality shine through. Don’t worry; you can decidedly trust me. Most of the time.

Ned: I certainly hope so. You have that certain, thoughtful gleam in your eye. Makes me nervous. You are pretty good at just killing off characters to fit the plot. I’m quite fearful that one of my friends may not be long for this world. I like her! Why does she have to go?

Me: Calm down, Ned. Drink your chamomile tea. You are taking over this story. This is MY story, remember! And, it’s only fiction.

Ned: Are you sure?

Books about Ned McNeil by Blanche Day Manos

Moonlight Can Be Murder

By the Fright of the Silvery Moon

Moonstrtuck and Murderous (coming soon)