Nobody likes a know-it-all, somebody who is quite ready to tell others they are wrong or have forgotten or somehow, just don’t quite measure up. Those people are best steered clear of (and prayed for). But, what if that person who is so critical of myself is me? What if I’m always telling myself and others that I’m not quite as sharp as I need to be? What if I constantly put myself down? Maybe I really believe this or maybe I just don’t want to appear boastful or proud and take self-deprecation to new levels? Well, if I do that, there are plenty of listeners who will agree with me!
I’ve particularly noticed this trend to be meek in older people. Now, if anybody has a right to be boastful and proud, it is a senior citizen. But, by the time we reach a ripe old age, we’ve acquired a bit of wisdom as well as manners. And, wisdom is never boastful. Trouble is, sometimes the rush and hurry of modern-day living, the marvels of technology, and the rapid changes going on around us leave us sort of unsure of our footing. And, we say so.
Big mistake! Just be careful not to say so too often or too loudly or the people listening might start to agree.
A crown of white hair should be a symbol of wisdom and respect, shouldn’t it? Shouldn’t we oldsters be oracles of experience and knowledge that younger people run to with a myriad of questions? Then, why don’t they? The fault could lie in what we’ve been taught. Our parents and grandparents, particularly southern parents and grandparents, taught their children to have respect for age, to treat others as we’d like to be treated, and never be boastful. The cardinal rule was: Don’t hurt someone’s feelings. Sometimes that is misunderstood as being somewhat inadequate. So, we keep our experience and our wealth of knowledge to ourselves.
Listen to your own conversation. Do you constantly ask, “What do you think?” or “I might be wrong” or “Maybe I’ve forgotten,” or “You know more about that than I do.” or “I guess I’m getting old.” Stop that! Get those phrases out of your vocabulary. You might think them, but, for goodness sake, stop saying them. You don’t have to be unpleasant, just be positive. Stop putting yourself down. Stop selling yourself short. You and I, and all older people as well as the younger ones are unique, irreplaceable, quite wonderful beings. In trying to be courteous, don’t be self-deprecating. You might start to believe what you are saying and that would not be good.
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