I’m a noble watchdog, valiant and kind,                                                                                                                    But squirrels in my back yard cause me to lose my mind

They skitter up the maple, they chatter and they scold;                                                                                                   The awful names they call me would make your blood run cold.

They are, of course, mere cowards, they’re brave up in the tree;                                                                                 They won’t fight on my level ’cause they’re afraid of me.

I cannot climb the maple, so I stand guard below,                                                                                                          Until, bored with the stand-off, I nobly let them go.