Listening to someone, really listening and hearing what she says, can be the best gift you can give, and it doesn’t cost a dime, just a bit of your time. Recently, a friend suffered through a traumatic event. She mentioned it in our conversation and I told her how sorry I was and how glad that it was no worse; it could have been, much worse. She began telling me about it. As I listened, I realized she wanted and needed to talk about it. She told me how scary it was and how she felt, now that it was over. Twice, she thanked me for listening. I believe she was grateful to have someone who cared, someone who wished her well and didn’t interrupt, just listened.
Busyness sometimes intrudes into our live. We hurry here, scurry there, do a bit of this and then something else. Our minds are full of so much that is just plain clutter and we miss a lot of what’s really important. When a child discovers the outgrown shell of a locust clinging to the bark of a tree, when a little one is troubled by something that happened on the playground, when a husband or a wife runs into a problem with a colleague that seems insoluble, we need to stop what we are doing, forget the interruptions and our own troubles for a moment, and give our full attention. We need to listen.
It’s amazing how listening enlarges a person’s heart. Hearing the excitement or pain in a voice, seeing the wonder or bewilderment in someone’s eyes stirs the listener’s emotions. It is a learning and heart-stretching experience.
We are quick to bring food or rally round when disaster strikes and that is good. It shows that we care. But, I believe that even more important is sitting down with someone or running with them to see that beautiful rainbow before it fades. Trying to look through another’s eyes and feel what another is feeling, is the most important thing anyone can do. And, to do that, we must first listen.
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