Interview with a Dog

Our roving reporter has interviewed citizens of Levi, Oklahoma, giving us a peek at the good folk there. Today, that intrepid reporter catches up with, of all people, my dog! Now, he is a pretty easy-to-get-along-with fellow and he seemed willing to sit down and give an interview. I stayed out of it!

Roving Reporter: I admit I feel strange interviewing a dumb animal but…

Dog (growling): Hey! Who you calling dumb?

RR (backing up): Sorry! Any animal who can give an interview is certainly not dumb. I’ll start by asking your name, if I may?

Dog: Killer

RR: You don’t really look all that big and bad. And, by the way, did you know you have a few strands of grass on your ear and back?

Killer: Look, nobody is perfect. Short stems of winter grass make dandy scratching pads. Are you going to ask pertinent questions regarding my benefactor’s books or not? ‘Cause if you’re not, I’m going to take a nap. Chasing squirrels is tiring business.

RR: Since you reside in the same house as a writer of cozy mysteries, I assume you hear a lot of mysterious stories before the book is available to the rest of the country.

Killer: And a lot of groans and moans and growls–not mine, I hasten to add. And, not to boast, but she often asks my opinion. “Killer,” she’ll say, “do you think Darcy would make a pot of coffee before she calls Grant or afterward?” Or, sometimes, “I don’t know how I’m going to get Flora out of that tight place before the bad guys get back. Any ideas?” Of course, I give her my opinions quite often. Not to brag, but I don’t think she could write a book without me. Why, my paw prints are all over them, figuratively speaking.

RR: I’ll look for them on the new cozies. I have heard rumors that Miss Blanche has another mystery in the percolator. Any truth to that?

Killer: You bet. Haven’t you been reading her blogs? Moonlight Can Be Murder is in the works and another one after that having a touch of Ireland, from all I hear. Sometimes, I just can’t bear it!

RR: Oh, poor doggie…I mean Killer. What is it that you can’t bear?

Killer: The villains that woman puts in her books! Now, I would never have thought that a kindergarten teacher, of all people, would harbor such ideas for plots and twists and danger and tension and…she looks mild enough and I’ve got to say, she pretty much feeds and shelters me with a generous hand, but well! Somewhere back in the dark recesses of that conniving mind, under all that gray hair, there’s got to be some pretty mean schemes and suspicious thoughts! Just goes to show…

RR: I’ve heard that you really like her books. In fact, I heard that once upon a time, when a shipment of new books came in, you liked them so well that you tasted one. In fact, did a little more than taste. I heard that you…

Killer: OK. That’s it. Interview ended. I hate those nasty rumors and bringing up one’s past misdeeds. However, the smell and taste of new books is a temptation to be reckoned with. I’m going to take a nap. ‘Scuse me, please.

RR: Wait, wait! The three cozies, The Cemetery Club, Grave shift, Best Left Buried are newly released. I’ve gotta have them! Can’t wait to get my paws, I mean hands, on them. Where can I get them?

Killer (disappearing down the hall): Go to Pen-L.com. Or go to Amazon.com, type in Blanche Day Manos.

RR.: Thank you! Good night.

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