Those Encircling Ties That Bind

It is my belief that ties bind us together for a purpose. We really need each other and we need a sense of order. First of all, every person needs God and, secondly, we need a sense of belonging. Isn’t that why men and women get married? We want to belong to someone special and want that someone special to belong to us.

Children belong in a family. As much as teenagers chafe at the bits and yearn to be free from those encircling, constraining reins, as a general rule, they don’t want to break those ties forever; they just want them loosened a bit.

It’s a funny thing–technology has freed us from a lot of drudgery and allowed us to travel to foreign places, solve the weightiest math problems, be up to date on the latest world events, and we don’t have to move from our favorite chair. We can keep up with family and friends and make new friends through the marvels of Facebook and email. However, all those little emojii and hearts and flowers can’t compete with a warm hug or a face to face smile or handshake. Technology doesn’t have a whole lot of warmth. With all that technological togetherness, we’ve lost the feeling of belonging.

The Houston flood showed me how much people truly care about other people and want to help those who need help. This is true, honest-to-goodness one on one caring. We really do hurt when others hurt and want to show compassion and love. Those who are hurting are a part of our human family. And, no matter where in this great country those helpers came from, they rushed to Houston. They came together as a huge family to help other family members. 

Ties give us boundaries. And, whether we admit it or not, certain boundaries are good. That’s why we have laws. That’s why parents have rules and groups have guidelines. And, that’s why parents put down certain dos and don’ts for their children. When I was a teenager, I thought Mom and Dad were awfully strict, but looking back, I can see that their strictness saved me a lot of trouble. 

Ties, boundaries, rules–they are what keep families and nations together. Without them, we’d have anarchy. Being free of all restraints isn’t a really great thing. We need a rock, a sense of security, so that with all the freedom, we also have stability, a sense of belonging. Blest be the tie that binds, indeed!

As a writer of cozy mysteries, I want my readers to feel a sense of belonging, a part of the world of Darcy and Flora or Ned. As these intrepid sleuths sit down for coffee or watch the flames dance in the fireplace, or face danger and dreaded possibilities,  I hope that sense of family, that friendship and sharing reaches out from the pages and encircles my readers. For me, my readers are truly a part of what I write.