Just so we understand this is all tongue-in-cheek and completely imaginary, don’t bother with write-in votes.
Reporter: So today, Mrs. Manos, you are announcing you are a candidate for Office of the President of the United States? (snicker) If you’ll pardon me, what makes you think you are qualified?
Me: (nervously pleating the hem of my sweatshirt) Well, um, I do love this country and we are in a mess and I think we are sadly lacking in something called Common Sense in each of the three branches of government.
Reporter: But what about your foreign policy? Your domestic policy? What about all the class struggles and inequalities and income redistribution?
Me: My foreign policy is we let other countries tend to their knitting and we tend to ours. They’d better not threaten us and we don’t threaten them. Besides, threats are just empty words, aren’t they, unless they are backed by determination.
Reporter: And? Class struggles? Crime?
Me: I don’t see people as belonging to a certain class unless we’re talking about school. People are people. I figure I’m as good as somebody with three million dollars and I’m no better than the person who is down and out without a dime in his pocket. Crime? We need whole, wholesome families with both parents in the home who know where their children are and what they are doing. This would cut down on a whole lot of crime. And income redistribution? I worked hard for my money and you should work hard for yours. I don’t want your money and I sure don’t want you to take mine. If I freely give it to you, that’s a different matter.
Reporter: What about the ineptness of Congress? How would you change attitudes so that people could work together?
Me: Why should they work together if the the subject in question is bad for the country? If I saw somebody digging potholes in the street for cars to fall into to help auto manufacturers and asphalt dealers, I don’t think we should all work together on a project like that. Different ideas, original thinking, sifting possible solutions until we find the best one–that’s what Congress needs to do. Hands across the aisle? Ha!
Reporter: What about taxes?
Me: What about them? We wouldn’t have to raise taxes if we cut down on about 75% of the government subsidized offices and committees and study groups. Also, let’s cut Congressional and Presidential salaries to be similar to most hard-working Americans. We shouldn’t be supporting royalty. They are supposed to be working for us. Has everybody forgotten? Do you want your hard-earned money to go toward a study of why guinea pigs like lettuce instead of steak? Or to fund looking into the mating rituals of orangutans in a far-off country? I don’t!
Reporter: Well, um, OK. I don’t think anybody is going to go for that. Thanks for the interview.
Me: No. Wait. I’m on a roll here. I’d start out each day with gathering the whole Congress, President, and Supreme Court together for a Bible reading. Executive order. And once a week they would have to hear the whole chapter of Deuteronomy 28. And, if it offends anybody, so be it! Since when do one or two people dictate to 200? It would offend me if anybody was offended!
Reporter: I assume you would spruce up a bit if you were President. I mean, well, no offense but maybe your hair or a few designer clothes or…something?
Me: OK. You’ve got me there. I doubt that anybody would vote for a gray-haired grandma in blue jeans and sweatshirts. However, that brings me to another subject: state dinners and governmental parties and entertaining foreign dignitaries. This is America, for Pete’s sake! Have we forgotten our roots? Dinner should be fried chicken and mashed potatoes and apple pie, served on a red-checked tablecloth. No booze allowed. We need clear thinking in Washington, D. C. And that brings me to another topic…
Reporter (hurriedly closing notebook and backing away). No. No more, thanks. That’s quite enough. Sorry to say, Mrs. Manos, nobody would take you seriously. Your name will never be on the ballot.
Me: (sigh) I know. And, actually, I don’t want it there anyway.
http://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/blanche-manos?store=allproducts&keyword=blanche+manos
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=blanche+day+manos
http://pen-l.com/Mystery.html
From one gray haired Grandma to another…Hear, hear, Blanche! : )
Thanks, Fran. If I change my mind and decide to run, will you be my campaign manager?
Wow, Blanche! Deuteronomy 28 nails it! Great idea — now how do we get them to do it?
First, one of us has to win the Presidency and issue one of those Executive Orders. Or else we somehow have to instill some backbone into the Congress.
Amen, Blanche!!!!!!
Thanks for the Amen, Helen.