An Interview with Pat Harris

The Roving Reporter is intrigued by the people she meets in Levi, Oklahoma. This morning, she zeroes in on Pat Harris, long-time friend of Flora Tucker.

Roving Reporter: Thank you for agreeing to this interview, Mrs. Harris. I understand you’ve lived here in Levi a long time and are close friends with Flora Tucker?

Pat: You understand correctly. Flora and I were chums even in grade school. Why, I’d trust her with my life and she probably knows everything about me and likes me anyway. Now, that’s friendship!

RR: Answer this for me, Mrs. Harris: why do some people refer to you and Flora and a couple of other people as “The Cemetery Club?”

Pat: (laughing) That’s an easy one to answer. Flora and I are on the governing board that makes sure the funds for Goshen Cemetery are properly spent and we see to it that the cemetery stays in good shape.

RR: You’ll have to admit it does sound rather gruesome. Like, who would want to have a club that is all about a graveyard?

Pat: Now, listen, young lady. I wouldn’t expect a youngster like you to understand but there are some of us who see taking care of the final resting place of our dear departeds as a high calling.

RR: As you say. I’ve heard a rumor that all is not always smooth sailing at those yearly business meetings at Goshen. At one point, wasn’t there a question of misused funds and something about a dead body? I mean a body that someone found above ground there at the cemetery.

Pat: (sighing) Of all the nice things to talk about, I don’t know why reporters have to ferret out the unpleasant ones. I’m not saying yes or no. You’ll have to get your question answered by somebody else.

RR: What is there about Levi and all those poor, murdered people who keep turning up? And, I heard about an earthquake too. I didn’t think Oklahoma had earthquakes. California, yes, but Oklahoma? Didn’t it result in a surprise or two? I’ve heard it referred to as Grave Shift. (She shudders.)

Pat: We suffered through two earthquakes, if the truth be known. And I guess you might say we had a couple of surprises. Shocks, is what I’d call them. Shocks from the ground shaking like a bowl of Jell-O and shocks to our nerves!

RR: For a small town, Levi has some really interesting characters. However, it might be a little dangerous to live here. Maybe the life expectancy isn’t that great.

Pat: (huffing and puffing) Oh, for goodness sake! Our life expectancy is as good as anybody’s. Why, take the Jenkins sisters for instance.

RR: Certainly, I didn’t mean to offend you, Miss Pat. One last thing: what’s this I hear about a long-buried secret that had to do with Darcy Campbell and Flora Tucker? Didn’t they unearth something totally unexpected? Can you tell me about it?

Pat: (sniffing) No, I can’t. That’s one of those things that, as far as I’m concerned, is Best Left Buried.

RR: Perhaps you’re right. Thanks for the interview.